Heroes Always Fall
by BlamionexTandrexChax4evr
Summary: When a mission goes wrong Natasha must be comforted by Steve but he is hiding a terrible secret. Can he continue lying to her about what really happened to the man she loves? Clint/Natasha/Steve
1. Explosion

_**Summary:**__ When a mission goes wrong Natasha must be comforted by Steve but he is hiding a terrible secret. Can he continue lying to her about what really happened to the man she loves?_

**Please review and let me know what you think! **

_Positive._

As Natasha stared down at the little stick one word was replaying itself over and over in her mind.

_Positive._

How could she be pregnant? How? They had been careful. She had fearlessly faced many battles in her life but now, faced with the biggest one of all, she was terrified. She was a master assassin. There was no way she could be a mum too.

_Clint._

Even as the name came to mind she felt herself relax. Clint would know what to do. Of course. He would tell her exactly what they needed to do.

On the other side of the bathroom door Stark was banging and shouting but Natasha paid no attention. As gently as any mother could she cupped her flat stomach and imagined she could feel the baby's tiny heartbeat. Her baby.

x

Natasha walked into the living room of the Avenger's Tower to find Nick Fury waiting.

"Black Widow. Gather the rest of the team. I have urgent news." He commanded. Natasha turned without another word. As she searched for her team mates she couldn't shake Fury's worried face out of her mind. The old director had faced many battles and he never showed fear. Now he was worried but not because of the mission. He wasn't sure why he was worried. Maybe it was just what would follow. Maybe he was getting too old for this job.

She found Steve in his room on his laptop.

"Fury wants us all down stairs now." Natasha told him and he nodded.

She found the rest of the team except one and told them all to go down to Fury.

She found Clint in their room, staring out of the window. As quietly as she could she passed the unmade bed and stepped easily over all their scattered clothes.

She slipped her arms smoothly around his waist, her chin fitting onto his shoulder.

"Looks like dinner tonight is off. Fury's downstairs." She told him. He turned to face her, his scar lined face looking lost. He had been like this for the last few days but she hadn't worried about it until now. His eyes looked so lost and confused she almost didn't recognise the deadly assassin she loved.

"Oh right. Let's go so." He replied his voice distant and it really worried her. He slipped his hand into hers and took a step towards the door.

"What's wrong?" she asked, pulling him back.

"What? Nothing. It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He told her. She raised an eyebrow at him. He sighed knowing his girlfriend was not one to let things rest. "Honestly it can wait." He promised her, smiling. He gave her a quick kiss.

"Wait. C'mon. They're not screaming for us to come down yet so tell me." she begged him. Natasha never begged with anyone else. She could find out information from others with less vulnerable methods. But Clint knew her inside out and knew her every trick. Begging was the only way with him. she hated how weak he made her feel but at the same time she loved how safe she felt with him around.

He gestured to the bed and they sat. He paused for a moment, his lips pursed, hands clenched. Now he really had her worried.

"Do you ever wonder why we do this?" he asked his voice guarded. They shared everything. Why was he guarded now?

"Do what?" Natasha's heartbeat quickened and her palms suddenly felt sweaty. Do what? Love each other? Be together? Surely he didn't mean…

"Fight. Kill. What's the point?" he asked, his eyes searching her face for any reaction.

"What's brought this on?" She asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"I don't know. It's just with mission after mission… it just never ends. And it never will. I don't know. I just think maybe it's time to stop." Natasha thought about what he was saying, mulling it over. Before she could reply there was a knock at the door.

"Fury wants you downstairs now." Steve told them. Clint nodded and stood up. He held his hand out for Natasha and she took it.

x

"Two hours ago I received word from Thor that Loki has escaped Asgard. One hour ago I was informed of a hostage situation in a warehouse in London. Loki is behind it and we need you all to investigate." The room was silent after Fury's statement.

"Let's go." Tony replied. Steve and Bruce stood, nodding. Natasha watched as Clint stood too, a look of determination on his face. She knew he wanted to kill Loki for the mind control but she was less eager to face Loki. His words still rang in her ears but now, with a heavy heart, she joined her team.

x

Natasha drew her guns from their holsters, feeling comforted with their weight in her hands. She stood, crouched behind a stack of wooden boxes in the corner of a warehouse. From her perch she could see Loki walking between a circle of about one hundred people, all of them on their knees, terror etched on their faces. Glancing up she could see Clint hunkered down in the rafters his bow already raised. Through one of the roof windows she could see Tony in his Iron Man suit, flying through the dark night. Steve stood behind her, his breath warm on her neck. Bruce was nowhere to be seen.

"You know I expected your heroes to be here by now…" Loki commented. Natasha could see Clint glance down to Steve for the signal but Steve shook his head.

"I suppose there's no point keeping you all here anymore so…" With ease Loki strode towards the door.

_Something's wrong… _thought Natasha. He was giving up too easily.

Loki reached the doorway.

"No point keeping you alive either." He told them and shot Natasha a smirk. _He knew._ Loki threw a metal ball into the air confusing everyone. The instant the ball hit the ground it exploded, sending everyone flying through the air and causing the whole building to explode.

And even as Steve threw himself on top of her, his shield protecting them both, Natasha could have sworn she heard Loki laughing.

**Okay so this is the first in a multi chap story but if I don't get response I won't continue! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	2. Devastation

**Chapter 2 - Devastation**

Her eyes felt heavy. The flames continued to play through her mind but her eyes wouldn't open. Natasha let out a groan as her left leg seared. As gently as she could she eased open her eye lids. She blinked, confused. The room was white and smelled of sanitizer. The sun shone through the huge window to her right and the wooden door in the left corner was still. She certainly wasn't in the Avengers Tower.

A moment later the door opened and a gust of wind sent a chill down Natasha's spine. A woman in a white nurse's uniform walked over to her. Her plump figure looked about fifty but her face looked young and kind.

"You're awake." The nurse stated. "How are you feeling?" she asked, placing her hand on Natasha's forehead. Natasha wriggled away.

"Where am I? What happened? Who are you?" Natasha asked feeling panic suddenly overcome her as she recalled the explosion. How long had it been since then?

"Calm down honey. You're in hospital. There was an explosion. Do you remember?" she asked gently. Natasha nodded slowly. "I'm Nurse Joan. I've been looking after you since you arrived." Natasha's hands suddenly jumped to her stomach. Nurse Joan smiled. "Don't worry. Your baby is just fine."

"You haven't said anything to anyone?" she asked hating herself for her uncontrollable panic. This was the first time in a long time she had ended up in hospital and she felt very disconcerted.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked feeling herself relax slightly.

"About a day." Joan replied checking the IV beside Natasha's bed.

"What happened to me?" she asked feeling more comfortable.

"You severely burnt your leg in the explosion so the doctor decided to keep you in a coma for another while in hope that the pain would have subsided slightly." That explained the searing pain in it now.

"Where's everyone else? Where's Clint?" Natasha asked. Joan glanced down at her nervously.

"I'll be back in a moment." Joan walked away out the door leaving Natasha with a sense of dread.

x

"Captain America!" Steve turned at the sound of his name. A woman in a white nurse's uniform was running towards him.

"Yes?" he asked wondering at her hurry.

"Miss Romanoff is awake and asking for Mr. Barton." She told him. He nodded.

"Thank you. I'll be right there." he told her. She nodded and turned away. Steve slipped into the next room.

"Captain."

"Fury. She's awake and looking for Clint." Steve told Fury who nodded.

"You know what you have to do now." Fury told him. He nodded. And he turned towards the door, a lump rising in his throat at what he had to do.

Natasha watched the door anxiously awaiting Joan's return. But it wasn't Joan she saw next. It was Steve.

She had never had any problem with Steve and he and Clint had become best friends in the past year since Loki's first attack. But now at the sight of his saddened face and tired looking body Natasha wanted him to leave. Or for her to run as far away as possible from the devastating news he was about to bring. She already knew what he was going to say but she didn't believe it. Not yet.

"Hey. How you feeling?" he asked trying to sound happy.

"Where's Clint?" Natasha asked sitting up, despite the pain in her leg. Steve looked to the ground, avoiding her eyes. A moment later he looked up.

"I'm so sorry Natasha. He… he's dead."

The world stopped moving and Natasha stopped breathing. The world around her stopped and Natasha could have sworn it had dropped away beneath her. She felt like she was falling. Falling further and further in a bottomless black hole. She couldn't stop the tears. Couldn't hold back her pain. Her heart felt as though it had been shattered into a million pieces with just two words.

Steve had seen many things in his life time. He had fought bloody battles, had been frozen in ice for seventy years and seen the world as he knew it change. But none of those sights were as shocking as the sight of Natasha Romanoff crumbling before his eyes.

Sobs racked her body. Steve put his arms around her and felt her tears stain his shirt but he didn't care. He held her tight as she cried.

x

Two hours later Steve pried himself away from a sleeping Natasha. She had cried for almost an hour before anger had taken over.

"I want to see him. I have to see him!" she shouted trying to pass him but he held her back.

"You can't see him. He… he was horribly burnt. He's unrecognisable."

"I don't care! I want to see him!" she yelled but he held her back. Again tears came.

"How come he was… how come he's the only one who died?"

"He wasn't able to defend himself against the flames." Steve told her trying to soften the blow.

"I can't defend myself against flames either!"

"But my shield protected you." he told her.

"You shouldn't have protected me. I should be dead too!" They were silent for a while after that. Sometime since then Natasha had fallen asleep.

Now he walked back to Fury. This time he wasn't alone.

"Agent Hill. Fury." He greeted, nodding his head at Maria and Fury.

"What is it?" Fury asked tersely.

"I think we should honour the promise we made Barton." He told Fury, his mind reeling back only hours ago.

"_Okay. Fine. But promise me you'll tell Natasha the truth." Clint had asked._

"_Of course." Fury had promised. _

"You know we can't do that. It's too late anyway. You've already told her he's dead." Fury reminded him turning back to whatever he and Maria had been looking at before Steve had entered.

"I know but she's devastated. She's completely lost without him. She deserves to know where he really is." Steve pressed. Fury turned back to look at him.

"She can't know. And I forbid you from telling her." Fury told him, his voice making it clear he was serious.

"But sir-"

"No buts Captain. She can't know and that's final."

Steve turned on his heel furious. He stormed out of the door heading back to Natasha's room. Why should he listen to Fury? It wasn't him who had just had the unbreakable Black Widow sobbing on his shoulder. Steve knew he owed it to his best friend to tell her the truth.

He strode into Natasha's room, his decision final. Clint wanted her to know the truth and he knew so why couldn't she?

When he entered the room Natasha was still sleeping so he took a seat beside her bed and waited.

**Please review!**

_Next Chapter:_

_Natasha is haunted by terrible nightmares and her devastation is made even worse when Tony lets a secret slip. _

**Let me know what you think via review please!**


	3. Lost

**Chapter 3 - Lost**

_The ground was hard and cold underneath her. Pain seared through her leg which Natasha now realised was bent awkwardly beneath her. _Shit _she thought. Broken. Her breathing was heavy and grunting she tried to push herself up off the ground. _

_Pain shot through her leg and she gasped, collapsing back down to the ground. Her leg felt like it was throbbing. She looked down at the ground beneath her, her red hair falling across her face._

"_Wanna hand?" a voice asked above her and she looked up, not daring to hope. But it was him._

"_Clint!" Natasha cried as he helped her up. She clung to him as though afraid that if she let go he'd disappear. _

"_Hey it's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." He told her, his soothing voice calming her instantly. As usual._

"_I thought you were dead." she told him not releasing her grip._

"_I am." He told her. She stared up at him in shock as flames appeared and engulfed him._

"_CLINT! CLINT! NO! CLINT!" she screamed reaching into the flames trying to retrieve her fallen lover. Hands gripped her arms trying to pull her back but she continued to flail, screaming. "CLINT!"_

Natasha jolted awake suddenly mid-scream, images of Clint's face contorting in pain as the flames engulfed him replaying over and over in her mind. Her scream died away and she took in the room around her. Steve stood beside her, his face worried.

"You okay?" he asked breathing heavily. Natasha nodded but was unsure. The dream had seemed so real, so vivid.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked looking at Steve as he sat into the seat beside her bed.

"A few hours." He told her. She looked at the sheets on her bed, her head now dizzy from sitting up so quickly. She put her hand on her head, sighing. For a moment she had really believed he was still alive. Now she was brought back to reality. The pain in her chest felt raw and her heart ached to have Clint's arms back around her. All those times she had pushed him away for work or simply for fear of getting hurt came to mind and she couldn't get rid of them.

"Bad dream?" Steve asked and she jumped. She had forgotten he was there. She nodded. "You were screaming." He told her. No wonder her throat felt raw.

"I dreamed that he was still alive. He held me close and then… he burst into flames." She told him. She felt tired, her eyes felt dry. She wished she could cry but years of training had made her invincible to crying. Natasha Romanoff never cried for anything. But she'd do anything for Clint.

Steve was about to reply – what he could say Natasha had no idea – when there was a knock at the door. They both looked to it to see Bruce standing there with a bunch of flowers. Natasha hated flowers.

"Uh hey there. I just came by to see how you're doing." Bruce said standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"You can come in." Natasha told him. He smiled and walked over taking the seat beside Steve.

"So how are you?" Bruce asked cautiously as if unsure how much she had been told.

"I'm-" there was another knock at the door. Pepper and Tony stood in the doorway, chocolates in hand.

"Can we come in?" Pepper asked. Natasha nodded. She knew they were just here because they thought of her as a friend but right now she was feeling smothered. She just wished she was alone.

Pepper took the seat across from Steve and Tony leaned against the back of her chair.

"I'm so sorry about Clint…" Pepper told her, a mournful look on her face as she reached over and took Natasha's hand. Natasha wanted to pull away but didn't want to hurt Pepper's feelings.

"Me too." She replied instead, not looking at anyone.

"It's not your fault you know." Tony said and Natasha looked at him confused. Sure she felt upset and angry about Clint's death but she hadn't considered it to be her fault. It was a mission that went wrong. Right?

"Excuse me?" she said to Tony.

"Clint dying. He would have jumped in front of you whether you wanted him to or not." He told her simply. Natasha's heart plummeted to her stomach and felt as though it had been trampled on once again. She looked to Steve to find him glaring at Tony who suddenly realised his mistake and slapped his hand across his mouth.

"I mean…" he started but couldn't think of anyway to cover his blunder.

"Clint died trying to protect me?" Natasha repeated trying to keep her voice even but failing as it quivered. Steve looked to her, his eyes sad.

"I'm sorry Natasha." Steve said. He looked as if he was about to say something else when Natasha interrupted.

"Can you all leave please?" she asked not looking at anyone but her voice remained firm.

"Look-" Tony began.

"We'll see you some other time." Pepper interrupted grabbing Tony's hand and pulling him out the door.

"I'll come back later." Bruce said standing up, leaving the flowers on the side of her bed. Steve stood once they'd all left.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just… I didn't think… there's something I have to tell you."

"Just leave Steve." There is a note of finality to her voice but Steve had to try and explain.

"Listen-"

"JUST LEAVE! GO! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!" Steve sighed. She couldn't be reasoned with so he had to leave.

Once Steve was gone the room was silent and Natasha felt empty. Her hands wrapped around her stomach and she curled up into a ball. And she cried.

She cried for Clint, for the future they'd never have, for the chances she missed, for the baby he'd never know, for baby who'd never have a father, for the poor baby that would have to grow up with a mother like the Black Widow.

To anyone looking in it would just look like a grieving girlfriend who was heartbroken. But to Steve he saw so much more. Natasha Romanoff never cried so seeing her so broken and vulnerable scared him. She never let anyone see any emotion so the fact that she had thrown them all out of the room showed him she was devastated and more upset than anyone would guess. Natasha never let her guard down but she had let Clint in and now she was left heartbroken.

_**Next Chapter:**_

_Natasha regrets her outburst but when she arrives back at the Avengers Tower she realises things are not as she expected._

**Please review!**


	4. Unforgiving

**Chapter 4 – Unforgiving**

Natasha jolted awake again. A scream died in her throat which was sore and hoarse from her screams. The nightmares came every time she slept and got worse every time.

She raised a hand to her forehead which was throbbing. Her hair was cold and damp from thrashing in her sleep.

Another nightmare. Another time watching Clint go up in flames.

There was a knock on the door and Natasha looked up hopefully. Those hopes were dashed when Joan walked in.

Natasha had been hoping to see Steve. It had been almost a week since Tony's slip-up and Steve hadn't returned. The next day Natasha had regretted her outburst which rarely happened. She knew he had just been trying protect her from the painful truth. She actually wanted to apologise which NEVER happened. Even with Clint.

But Steve had taken her words seriously. She hadn't seen him or Tony since. She was pretty sure Pepper had told Tony to stay away for the time being but Pepper herself had been in a few times. They never spoke about Clint or Steve or Tony choosing instead to talk about nothing in particular which bored Natasha but Pepper seemed content.

Bruce had also been in once, two days after his first visit. They had sat in silence for most of the visit. Occasionally he asked a question about how she was feeling or how the nurses were treating her.

But as he was leaving Natasha was pretty sure he saw the flowers she had had Joan dump in the bin. He hadn't been back since.

In a way she'd wished Tony or better yet Steve had returned so she could have asked the one question that had been plaguing her mind for almost a week.

What had happened to Loki?

Now Joan entered carrying a pile of newly cleaned clothes.

"Hey honey. How you feeling?" Joan asked leaving the clothes on the end of her bed.

"Okay."

"Well you get to go home today. Just make sure you come back to get that leg checked out a few times. It could be a while before it's completely healed."

"Where am I going anyway?" Natasha asked wondering where she could call home. Home was where Clint was.

"Back to the Avenger's Tower I believe." Joan replied spreading out the clothes as Natasha dangled her feet off the side of the bed.

"How am I getting there?" Natasha asked lifting the top Joan had cleaned for her.

"I believe there is someone downstairs waiting for you." Joan replied before leaving Natasha to get dressed.

x

Natasha looked down at herself. The grey tracksuit bottoms were too big for her but the red vest and black long cardigan fitted perfectly. She picked up the small bag of toiletries off the bed and her small rucksack of various gifts and underwear.

"You ready to go?" asked a voice from the doorway. Natasha looked up and smiled weakly. Once again she had been hoping it was Steve who was picking her up. Instead it was Bruce.

"Eh yeah I think so." She replied. Bruce nodded awkwardly before walking out of the doorway. Natasha sighed and walked out after him. They walked in silence down to the lobby and out of the front door.

"Wait here a minute. Let me find Steve…" Before Natasha realised what he had said he had walked away. A moment later the Range Rover came around the corner with both men sitting in the front. Steve was driving and he remained in the car as Bruce led Natasha to the back seat and put her bags in beside her.

She had no chance to talk to Steve as she didn't want to say anything in front of Bruce. The ride was an awkward one as Bruce tried to make small talk but neither Natasha nor Steve responded.

Finally after what seemed like an age they arrived the Avengers tower. Bruce helped Natasha with her bags while Steve parked the car. She wanted, and tried, to wait for him but Bruce was insistent on getting her inside quickly.

He showed her to her room. As she walked in, she froze.

"I'll just go and let the others know you're here. Do you want something to eat?" he asked but Natasha just shook her head. Bruce left and Natasha stared around the room.

It was clean. The bed was made, nice and neatly. All the clothes that had been strewn across the floor had been picked up and folded neatly on the shelves. The curtains were open and light filled the small bedroom. There were even flowers sitting on the window sill. But the one thing that Natasha noticed most was the bedside locker that sat beside what used to be Clint's side of the bed.

From what she remembered the last time she had seen the locker there had been a light blue lamp, a half empty glass of water, a picture of Clint and Natasha in Beijing and a DVD that Clint and Natasha had watched a few nights before. Now though there was just the lamp. The glass, the DVD and the picture were gone.

Looking around the room again Natasha realised there was no trace of Clint that she could see. She walked slowly over to the wardrobe and opened it but it was full of her own clothes. She raced over the drawers but Clint's drawer was empty. Looking to the mirror Natasha noticed that even the small picture from when Clint and she had gone to a circus in the city was gone.

"I told them not to." A voice said from the doorway and Natasha spun around to face Steve. He leaned against the doorframe, staring at her with something that was not quite concern. Natasha realised a moment later he was waiting to see her reaction. Why did he care now all of a sudden? She knew she told him to leave but if he cared so much why didn't he save Clint too?

"It's fine. It's better this way. Now I can move on like he never existed." She replied, the terrible ache in her chest worsening at these words. Steve watched her carefully as she grabbed her bag of toiletries, placing it in its usual place.

"If you're sure… but they didn't get rid of them. I can get them for you if you want." He offered.

"I'm fine Steve. Just leave me alone." Natasha snapped and Steve sighed, walking away. For a split second Natasha was tempted to call him back but she resisted. He hadn't saved Clint and she couldn't forget that.

_**Next Chapter**_

_Natasha discovers she is not the only one struggling to sleep._

**Please review! Thanks for reading! Hope you're enjoying! Let me know what you're thinking!**


	5. Insomnia

**Chapter 5 – Insomnia**

Natasha's legs felt strong beneath her as the treadmill sped up. It had been two weeks since she had returned to the Avengers Tower and things with Steve had not improved. Whenever he walked into a room Natasha walked out of it causing much tension through the group. She often spoke to Pepper, mainly because she didn't have a choice. The blonde woman's need to smooth over everything annoyed her greatly. As did what she had done to her room.

She knew it was Pepper because she had asked what she thought of it and Natasha had lied, as she had to Steve, and said she thought it was great. In fact she hated it. Pepper thought it was better if she erased Clint completely but Natasha didn't want to erase him. He was her best friend and now she didn't even have a picture of him. She could imagine her image of him in her mind slowly dimming until she wouldn't even be able to picture his face.

The gym was empty other than Natasha, just how she liked it. She loved how strong and indestructible her body felt as she ran. It was nearly one o'clock in the morning but Natasha had realised the only way to stop the nightmares was to stop sleeping.

So far, every night she had come down here to try and stay awake after everyone else had gone to bed. The way Bruce watched her every morning now she was pretty sure he had figured out what she was doing but he didn't say anything. It wasn't like she wasn't getting any sleep. She would come to the gym whatever time everyone else went to bed and then stay until she knew her body couldn't take anymore which tended to happen about four or five o'clock. However even then she refused to sleep for long. Her alarm was set for seven o'clock so she got enough sleep but she was too tired to dream.

Although she found herself getting even more tired by the day she refused to sleep even when others encouraged her to.

"You look exhausted. Maybe you should get some rest?" was a line she heard too often but every time it was said she promised she would. Another broken promise but who cared? In Natasha's eyes the building was full of liars who broke their promises and she found that she never felt guilty for lying to these people any more. A few weeks ago she would have but now they just annoyed her.

Another highlight of her extreme fatigue was it gave her little time to think about Clint. Whether she was pushing her body to be better or finding mindless paperwork to do she forced herself not to think about him.

One thing however that she did have to think about was her baby. She had considered having an abortion but she quickly realised that this baby was the only thing of Clint she had left and she couldn't get rid of it. She had still told no one and she knew she was probably putting her baby at risk by pushing her body so hard but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She couldn't get rid of it but she had cared about Clint and now he was gone so in some warped logic she figured if she didn't care about this baby it would somehow survive. Or something like that. In all honesty, like Clint, Natasha pushed thoughts of the baby to the back of her mind.

Now two weeks after the explosion her leg had improved considerably but tonight was the first time she was trying to run on it. However it felt strong and uninjured beneath her.

Despite all of this one thing bothered her. It had nothing to do with the tiredness or the baby or even Clint. Every evening when she arrived in the gym, the automatic lights, which turned on when someone arrived and turned off a few minutes after the person leaves, were always on, suggesting someone else was working out late at night but always leaving just before Natasha arrived. Even in the past two days when she had arrived earlier than usual she had found no one there. It was driving her mad but she had a feeling she knew who it was. Steve was never around when Natasha was waiting for everyone else to go to bed and this evening when she had passed his room he wasn't there.

Time passed too quickly and Natasha found herself slowing earlier than usual. Glancing at the clock as she stepped off the treadmill she saw it was only three o'clock. Too early to go to bed. Instead she headed for the bathroom where she showered, taking as long as possible before she was finished with nothing left to do. Glancing again at the clock she saw it was nearly half three. Pacing the bathroom she paused in front of the mirror.

Gently she lifted her hoodie and stared at her still flat stomach. There was no sign of life growing inside. All it showed was how much her rigorous workouts were hurting her body. Her ribs and hips stuck out in a sickening way and Natasha resolved to eat more. And then she would also have more energy for her workouts, an added bonus.

Leaving the bathroom Natasha pulled her top down, her mind scrambling for something to do. The dark stillness of the Avengers Tower would have scared some people but Natasha found it comforting. This way no one could sneak up on her. Walking slowly down the dark corridor to her room Natasha had sudden idea. It was a way to stay awake and be close to Clint.

She continued down the hall before turning to the stairs and making her way up to the roof. The stairs were cold and hard under her bare feet and there was no light to guide her but she had walked up these stairs enough times, she could do it in her sleep.

Halfway up Natasha froze. She hadn't been up here since the explosion. Would anything have changed? Would anything have registered the Hawk's absence?

As she opened the door she half expected to see Clint sitting in his usual place, his favourite perch, overlooking most of the city. But she knew it was silly to think that so as she took a silent step onto the roof she froze when she noticed the dark silhouette sitting on the edge. She wasn't alone.

**Next Chapter:**

_Natasha wonders if she's dreaming as she realises the figure looks a lot like Clint._

**By the way I haven't forgotten that Clint needs a funeral and it is coming up.**

**Please review!**


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